“Why is it so hard sometimes to be happy as a mom? I mean, I have so many REASONS to be happy, but why do I not feel continual joy?”
Have you ever asked yourself this question, or something similar?
Because I have.
“Isn’t Motherhood supposed to be a happy time spent snuggling with my kids, enjoying every minute of it? I mean, that’s what so many other moms make it seem like.”
It’s true that there are the good times, and the bad times… and not necessarily in that order either.
So often, life gets in the way, and we’re left to muddle through the maze of daily living circumstances, possibly taking a wrong turn, which can lead to a roller coaster of chaos!! And who would have known you were headed the wrong way?
Believe me, I’ve been there. And to be honest, some days are a replay of this scenario!
So here are some ways I have found that truly add to my happiness, even when the going gets tough!
Some of these qualities are hard at times to see, but having them in the back of my mind has truly helped me!!
Now in no way does this mean I am always completely happy, and that I have these qualities perfected!
These are mostly a reminder to me of the 13 Powerful Ways that Describe a Happy Mom.
1. She realizes her worth.
“Self worth is the opinion you have about yourself and the value you place on yourself.”
We don’t always think of this, and at times, it’s easy to not realize the impact we are making on those we care about.
Staying positive, and building ourselves up can definitely affect our mood!
That’s why being in the daily habit of looking for the good qualities within ourselves can make a huge difference on our mood and our general happiness.
Try this EXERCISE: Every morning when you look in the mirror, name something positive about yourself.
2. She realizes that the most important things in life aren’t things.
The most important thing in life isn’t the housework.
It isn’t the laundry.
It isn’t making the perfect meal.
What it is though, is spending time with family, even if it means we have to let some of these things go, and catch up on them later.
All those things will still be there waiting for you when you get to them (and maybe this fact is not so comforting).
But keep in mind that when baby takes extra long to nurse, or you feel like you just haven’t accomplished anything that day, in reality you have!
You are making memories, and nurturing tiny humans, and that alone, Mama, is enough.
3. She continually strives to improve herself
The life long journey of self improvement is sometimes an uphill path, and isn’t always easy…
Sometimes we have to stumble a few times before we find our footing again, and continue on.
We can think of it as, “If I’m not moving forward, I could be going backward. And backward isn’t where I want to be.”
Sometimes we may stand still for a while before getting the desire to move forward again, but to make it a goal to try and better ourselves daily is a marvelous thing!
An inspiring book, a blog post, a podcast, a video, or anything that keeps us moving in the right direction can make a huge difference on our overall happiness!
4. She isn’t afraid to take time for herself
Some may consider this “selfish” but in all honesty, how can a Mama perform and take care of her family if she doesn’t take care of herself too?
I’ve seen many a mama so focused on everyone else, she may be ran into the ground, dealing with underlying health issues from exhaustion!
Having a balance, and understanding that we, as Mothers, are so extremely important in the lives of our loved ones, is vital to our existence!
5. She focuses on the happiness of her family
Science shows that acts of kindness can increase our ability to feel happy, in that we are not focused on our own happiness, but the happiness of others.
Now this in no way means it will cure unhappiness, but rather, it gives us a boost of happiness.
Now again, this doesn’t mean that you should focus so much on everyone else, that you forget how important YOU are, and your needs.
But take to heart the idea that being busy can really take your mind off feeling sad or unhappy.
6. She asks for help when she needs it
Whether it be needing a little extra help with household duties, or even help mentally…
sometimes we think we can just figure it all out on our own, when we really just need to ask for help.
These are just some examples.
Now with the traditional mindset that surrounds motherhood in today’s world, where certain duties automatically seem to define motherhood (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc) the reality is that every person big enough and living under the roof should share in the household duties.
Motherhood is Giving life, nurturing and caring for our children… that is truly the important role we play.
Sometimes we just can’t do all the other stuff and stay sane!
Now, not everyone has someone to fall back on and ask for help in times of need, and in this case, just do the very best you can and be gentle with yourself. Mama, be gentle.
7. She does her best to be organized
Notice how I said “her best”.
This doesn’t mean she is super organized and just has everything in her life figured out!
But at least she tries.
Making a plan and sticking to it can simplify your life, making you feel happier and in control as much as possible.
8. She does her best to stay healthy
Eating the right foods
The foods we consume play a huge roll on our mental and physical health… even more than we realize!
Eating fresh whole foods is ideal, but sometimes we get extra busy or running late, so just do the best you can!
Planning ahead and buying the right foods helps alot.
Finding time to exercise
Fitting this one in may be a struggle for many, but it’s so worth it!
There are many health benefits to being active, and just doing at least something every day can increase your “happy hormone” levels!
Staying hydrated
Studies show that being dehydrated can effect your mood, your ability to focus, and many other things!
So staying hydrated is pretty important!
Also, I feel to mention that when the body is dehydrated, your risk of getting sick is increased, as your immune system weakens!
Who can afford to be sick, moody, or not have mental clarity while they “Mom”?
It can be tough enough “Momin” even without having these issues, and these aren’t even all the problems associated with being dehydrated.
9. She doesn’t let what others say affect her
This one is easier said than done alot of times.
The important truth that “Someone else’s opinions of me are none of my business” can be pretty powerful!
And “Never give others the power over how you feel.”
or “What? you don’t like me? Not my problem.”
So many of us are continually needing to tell ourselves this!
I’m currently working on this one, and will be for the rest of my life I’m sure!
10. She surrounds herself with people who support her and add to her happiness
In so many ways, we can choose whom we let in to our lives.
The toxic person.
The person who causes us to doubt ourselves.
The person who doesn’t see your value or potential.
These are the types of people we don’t have to let in.
Period.
Just because you were born in to a certain family doesn’t mean they are your true people…
Some people get along real great with their own family, and they are their people.
But OBVIOUSLY this isnt the case for everyone.
Find your tribe. Find your people who have your back.
And cherish them.
11. She finds things that interest her or keep her busy
Silly right?
Who has time to do anything besides feed, change, and snuggle their little ones?
Not to mention lack of sleep! And when you have older kids too…
Especially for those of us who go to work along with being mommy.
But as the kids get older, you may find yourself with some time on your hands, or you might not!
Just remember to find things to do that you love, or in other words, find a purpose.
What do you have a passion for? Is there a skill you want to learn? Maybe find a hobby you can enjoy?
Not everyone is interested in these, but I have found personally that if I have a project or something I enjoy doing to work on in spare moments, it helps to change up my day and make it not feel so monotonous.
Also, it can be my own little insentive to get my tasks done sooner, so I can do something I enjoy doing.
Because like I said before, being busy or productive can definitely lead to you feeling happier!
12. She looks for reasons to be grateful
“In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness.” sayes an article from Harvard Health Publishing.
Many people find it helpful to start a gratitude journal, a special place to write in daily the things you are grateful for.
And I have personally found this to improve my day!
finding things to be grateful for and being optimistic can truly brighten your outlook on life.
13. She continues to do her best regardless of circumstances
So many things can come up or take place that are completely out of our control.
Realizing that you simply can’t change some things, or circumstances, and still be able to find peace in your heart is a powerful thing when it comes to your happiness.
Now, we all know that the perfect, happy mom doesn’t exist, although I just painted a picture here of such, haha!
But what is this life all about if not to improve oneself and find happiness?
Ok, so maybe i do believe in fairytales, or happy endings, but why not?
Let me know in the comments…
And remember, Momlife is NOT for the faint of heart!
raising humans who grow to be honest and forthright people, who will make a positive impact in our society takes hard work and dedication!
And that is why YOU, Mama, are qualified for the position.
Because you are amazing!
And you got this 🤍
